Sunday, June 20, 2010

5种爱的语言

我的朋友问我:我要怎么显示我的我对女朋友的爱? “简单,首先要学习她的主要的爱语言(由加里查普曼5爱的语言)。 “什么是爱的语言?是否行得通?”他问道。 “当然”, 我回答。

是在工作时碰到“5种爱的语言”。它不仅帮助我的个案,但最重要的是帮助了我和我的家人相处。以下解释了爱的5种语言,我会在下一次提供的我个人的经历。我希望它 可以帮助你,也希望你能与我分享你的故事。

1。爱的誓词

      
行动并不总是胜于言语。如果这是你爱的语言,意思包含了不请自来的致意,感谢的话,被肯定的话等。 “我爱你”3个字,是重要的。听后,爱你的 精神会向天空发送。反之,侮辱
的话不容易遗忘,可以令他人离开你。

 

 2。有质量的相处时间 (良辰)

     
质 量的相处时间 就是:“我爱你,想充分,把全副精 力给你”。这是至关重要的,和他在一起时,没有电视,食物,所有的工作。 这会使你的另一半真正感到特别的爱。分心,推迟日期,或不听,有害于爱的。


      
3。接收礼品

      
请不要误会这是唯物主义爱的语言,接收的礼物是在乎礼物背后的努力和
体贴如果这是你的语言,你会更看重如何受到礼物,他人的关心,而不是 礼物的珍贵错过了生日,周年纪念,或草率,轻率的礼物将是不可原谅的,所以会在日常中也要有所表达。


      
4。服务行为

     
吸尘确实是一种爱的表达?当然!你做什么,以减轻负担的“服务行为”,
服务行为 人都会很感动。这些话是他或她最想听到:“让我为你做的“。懒惰,承诺了而又没有达到,或令他们的工作更多,是告诉他们,感情并不重要。


      
5。身体接触

      
这种语言是不是只是在房里。一个人的主要语言是身体的接触是不足为奇的。拥抱,在背部拍,手牵着手,并在手臂,肩膀,
关心,照顾周到接触和爱或面对面 的方式,他们都可以表现出兴奋,对身体接触 非 常敏 感他们要求常常陪在身边,是至关重要的,不然被忽视或虐待是不可原 谅的。

      
(来 源:http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)


Saturday, June 19, 2010

acceptance and compromising in relationship.

My friend wanted me to give him some relationship advice, because he and his girlfriend had several fights and his girlfriend asked for some time off over lunch. He told me they fought over littlest thing. One thing they fight the most is about her interactions with her guy friends. He kick her out of his house and hang up her call during fights. He asked me what should he do? If he should give her time to think about what she wants? If he should compromise? Or if he should accept it and work towards changing it later which he called it acceptance to compromise.   At least he was honest. Many people in relationship, especially at the beginning of a relationship, would "accept" the other person as it is, but unconsciously they were thinking about "compromising" the other person later on.   

What is acceptance? Acceptance is when a person agrees to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it. (from Wikipedia)
What is to compromise? To compromise is to make a deal where someone gives up part of, or all of its demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms—often involving variations from an original goal or desire. (from Wikipedia)

Interestingly, both words do not involve changing the other person.  However, most people in relationship really was thinking of changing the other person yet they call it acceptance or compromising.

接受和妥协。

我的朋友要我给他一些关于爱情的咨询意见,因为他和他的女 友吵了好几个架。 他的女友在午餐时间要求平静的想想。他告诉我,他们总是为了一点点小事有一点最常吵的是有关她与她的男性朋友来往的方式。他把她赶出家门,并挂断她电话。他问我应该怎么办呢?他是否应该给她时间去思考自己想要的东西?他要妥协?或者他应该接受它,以后才努力改变它,他称之为 接受妥协。至少他是诚实的。许多人在谈恋爱的时候, 特别是在开始的时候,会“接受”,但他们不自觉地的想“妥 协”他人。

什么是
“接 受”“接 受”是当一个人同意的情况的经验,遵循一个过程或条件 (通常是负面或不舒服的情况),而不试图去改变它。 (来自维基百科)
什么是"妥协"?妥协是一个过程,有人放弃部分或全部的需求。在争论时,妥协是通过沟通找到概念,往 往涉及从原先的目标和愿望的变化彼此接纳。 (来自维基百科)
 

有趣的是,这两个词并不涉及改变其他人。然而,大多数的人的在爱情关系里真的是想改变另一半却称之为接受 或妥协。

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Declear you relationship on facebook.

A friend asked for my help because his girl friend refused to declare their relationship on Facebook. Her reasons was that she just broke up with her ex-boyfriend and did not feel comfortable to declare a new relationship so soon.
He continued telling me that his girl friend has introduced him to her best friends in real life and she has also scheduled to let her parents meet him. Yet, all these were not as important as declaring their relationship on Facebook. He was upset. Not only he picked fight twice in a week, he also kick her out of his house after the second fight.
How important is it to have " XXX is in a relationship with XXX" on Facebook? It is about principle, he said. Is it the same principle with wearing ones wedding ring? If so, then the principle means to reassure your love one by telling the world "don't even think about it, I am already taken".