Sunday, June 13, 2010

Declear you relationship on facebook.

A friend asked for my help because his girl friend refused to declare their relationship on Facebook. Her reasons was that she just broke up with her ex-boyfriend and did not feel comfortable to declare a new relationship so soon.
He continued telling me that his girl friend has introduced him to her best friends in real life and she has also scheduled to let her parents meet him. Yet, all these were not as important as declaring their relationship on Facebook. He was upset. Not only he picked fight twice in a week, he also kick her out of his house after the second fight.
How important is it to have " XXX is in a relationship with XXX" on Facebook? It is about principle, he said. Is it the same principle with wearing ones wedding ring? If so, then the principle means to reassure your love one by telling the world "don't even think about it, I am already taken".


  1. A reader asked me the following question after he read my blog:
    Dear Jojona,
    When I think the declaring action on fb is kinda like a 'acknowledgment', 'appreciation', 'happy thing to share' in a relationship; what's that mean if my gf took me off on that?? Furthermore, how can I keep motivated to become a wonderful bf if I m not even acknowledged? What's my bottleneck on this? Pls advice.

  2. Here is my answer:
    Dear reader,
    your question clearly reflect your philosophy on relationship which is treating relationship as a math equation. In any relationship, if one always wonder about "what am I going to get out from doing this?" or "what will I get at the end of this?", then he or she will always be worrying about the end result instead of enjoying the process. A person should always be self motivated to be a wonderful person and boyfriend and not doing it so that he or she will get something back in return.
    Secondly, your question has brought up a common phenomena, which is ones world has been limited to only Facebook. Facebook is a social networking, tool to communicate to others, it is not the world. i.e. your family, her family, your friends in real life, etc. There are many people who only care about themselves and their interaction on the social network.
    As for what should be your bottom line, that depends on your goal for this relationship. My observation is that Facebook is only a trigger for an underlying problem, which is trust issue. So, my suggestion is to work on that, and then you will be able to find your bottom line.